This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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