If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
