I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
