the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
