hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
