And the cops told us we were all naked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
