I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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