note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
