Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
