She said her name was "party"
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
