Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
