Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize