You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
