Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
