Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
