He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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