so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
