on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
