her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
