I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
