I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize