i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
