we're blogging at a bar
I faked an abortion last night.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize