If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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