this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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