just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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