i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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