it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
