I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
When are your genitals available?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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