Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
