he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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