the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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