"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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