I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
