I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
you never un-have a 4some
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
