Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
