We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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