But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
