So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
