Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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