remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
