is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
