We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
