your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
