Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
