Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
