They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
