At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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