i would punch a child for taco bell
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
