He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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