From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
