Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
