my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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