We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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