We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
