This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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