Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
