meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
