His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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