They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
