I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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