He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
